Friday, July 30, 2010

schnitzel month days 6, 7, and 8

tartar sauce
i'm not the biggest fish fan,
but schnitzify it and i'll have no choice.

i was planning a big dinner that evening i stuck to a light lunch...
ever wonder what goes on inside of a schnitzel sandwich??
look! i went behind the scenes!




Wednesday, July 28, 2010

the joyride truck!

the only thing better than a joyride on the molly mobile
through manhattan
{and slowing down near madison square park to take in a whiff of the shake shack}
is happening upon
new york's newest bougey food truck:
it's like a mobile pinkberry but better because they have little crunchy chocolate balls!!!



Sunday, July 25, 2010

week 30: xiao ye

if you're drunk and you're in harlem,
you go to lincoln fried chicken.
if you're drunk and you're on the upper west side,
you go to grey's papaya.
if you're drunk and you're in taiwan,
first of all,
call your mother. does she know you're there?
i'd imagine you'd eat something like the booty call food* at 
the soon-to-open
{from the punks that brought you baohaus}
*it's a technical term, coined by owner eddie

please enjoy these pretty pictures from this weekend's six-course preview love fest:
 concubine cucumbers
no,really, that's the name.
they're deliciously sweet and garlicky pickled cucumbers
with a touch of salt 
that i imagine give you way more joy than a concubine.
tofu bricks
and you will shit a brick, these are so good
if you made a marshmallow into a donut
and then extracted the part where marshmallows are a million times too sweet 
and then added chili sauce and peanuts and scallions
you'd get these.
and you'd never want to stop.
poontang potstickers
filled with pat lafrieda meat
a dumpling dressed up as fat bastard yelling at a mini me black label burger, saying 
"get in my belly!"
these are your wildest dreams come true.
summa the most outrageous dumplings you'll ever have.
in true pat lafrieda fashion, these melt-in-your-mouth puppies don't need any condiments.
just love.
all love.
taiwan most famous pork on rice
the filling of a barbecue pork bun, ground up
over rice
simple & comforting.
like your favorite hamburger helper on asian steroids.
hainan chicken
christmas-colored sauces
chicken flavored rice
odd. my grandma didn't tell me she got a job cooking at xiao ye...
sweet potato balls
fried sweet taters with sesame seeds
brown suga
sneakily disguised as red bean balls...
a wonderful, happy ending :-)


ahh the satisfaction.
i can't wait for this place to legit open.
i'm going to get, like, a trillion poontang potstickers.
it's going to be amazing.

22 restaurants to go.



xiao ye is on orchard and stanton 

p.s. am i naive for not knowing what "poontang" meant?
i googled it.
bad idea.

Friday, July 23, 2010

week 29: the meatball shop

i was not afraid of the boogie man.
i was not afraid of the dark.
my biggest fear as a wee one
was sitting down at the dinner table on spaghetti night
and looking down at my plate
and finding that my poor poor spaghetti
was contaminated by a 

why? oh why must i eat this, mum? it is ruining my beautifully olive-oiled spaghetti!! 
i cried. i begged for mercy.

protein blah blah blah you wanna grow old and be frail and brittle bullshit bullshit?
{was something like her response}

it was clear:
if i wanted dessert,
that ball was going in my mouth.
boy, was life was tough. 

the struggle continued 
and continued
and my adolescent years proved to be successful in finding ways around the dreaded meatball
but eventually
hype and hipness persuaded me to go to
this is me at the meatball shop
and this is maria's best attempt at taking a picture of her newest celebrity crush,
the owner
{scruffy dude in the back}

what a fun place!
i love all the hustle and bustle of the lower east side
and i love looking at all the stylish kiddies that hang around that area.
there was a bit of a wait for a table, but that adds to the tastiness :-)
above is a picture of the multiple choice dry-erase marker menu on which maria and i kind of blindly picked our balls.

yay balls!!!
they were nothing like my childhood meatballs.
these were really good, and juicy, and rich in flavor
and big
but emphasis on the juicy!
and there was an amount of taste that you don't expect with ground meat.
it just bursted with flavor!
the balls just burst!
and the fact that they weren't corrupting spaghetti 
by being served in non-offensive sliders and heros
calmed my dark-childhood-memory-induced anxiety.

we also got a hero:
beef balls
on a whole wheat baguette
sometimes the thought of a baguette gets me nervous.
is it going to be hard to bite?
is it going to scratch the inside of my mouth?

you will all be relieved to know that this baguette was soft and doughy
and worked well with the balls
as to not make the sandwich self-destruct upon consumption.

it was like a neater, more highbrow, italian version of the sloppy joe. 

it was a comfy sandwich, indeed. 
one that i've since dreamt about numerous times.

ok, let it be known:
if you go to the meatball shop and do not order dessert, you are an idiot.
their ice cream sammiches are monstrous.
so monstrous that eating one like a sandwich might be impossible. 
but when thur's a scoop of house-made chocolate ice cream sandwiched between two no-bake peanut butter cookies sitting in front of you, it doesn't matter how it gets to your face, you just want it.

maria got the ginger snap and vanilla combo.
it was fine, you know, if you like ginger snaps.

i'm really glad that my meatball spell has been broken.
after having these
i'm not sure i'm going to be able to have any other ones.


23 restaurants to go, boys and girls.



the meatball shop is on stanton and allen in the lower east side
and it's open late!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

schnitzel month days 3, 4, and 5

chickens with mustard
since the schnitzel truck menu doesn't specify what kind of mustard they serve,
i prepared myself accordingly:
"don't fret, self," i said on the bike ride to the truck,
"their schnitzel is fantastic,
it's ok if their mustard is flawed. 
whatever qualities their mustard lacks, they can make up in schnitzel...
don't freak out too much if the mustard pairing isn't perfect, ok?"
 i was scared--really scared--that i would soon find the flaw in the schnitzel truck.
you'll all be relieved to know that schnitzel truck's mustard is indeed the perfect schnitzel mustard.
{it is hot}
there were three layers of meat on this sandwich.
are the schnitzelmen trying to kill me?
i dissected it and reconstructed it to better pace myself.
it was fine,
but the whole time,
the tiny rabbi in me begged me to go back to chicken.
double points for there being enough mustard on this weenie.
triple points for this being good enough that if the schnitzel men wanted to open the bratwurst truck,
it would absolutely rival the schnitzel truck.

i'm just really glad that i have something to hold me over on the days when i get tired of schnitzel.
{not that that is even close to happening...}


if i stick to my schedule,
i should try cod tomorrow.
but part of me wants to just go for the schnitzburger and see what happens.
i'll see how i feel tomorrow.



Tuesday, July 20, 2010


{or what ms. dorothy remembers for me...}

a brahms 1
that burrito for breakfast!
nico muhly + a child
guy tisdale holds orange soda, rolls
this fancy contraption
oh sam, that child is your child!

not pictured:

the off stage posthorn solo
various insects
a closed cheese shop
mcdonalds, pizza hut, something called the luau hale
timpanis, snapping fingers...
 and those dreamy boy choir boys

till next year, tanglewood...



Sunday, July 18, 2010

i was at tanglewood this weekend.

...and while i'd like to post some sort of picture of a violin
or michael tilson thomas,
i think this picture more accurately describes my weekend.

{pictures of mountains and babies to come...}



Thursday, July 15, 2010

week 28: zigolinis pizza bar

i have to keep up with restaurant challenge during my schnitzel month?
apparently so, say's my boss {me}

i'm really going gaga over this napoletana pizza business. 
it's making me obsessive.
i need to try all of them.
and then i want to somehow assemble a meal with one pizza from each of the top contenders and judge which one is the best.
but if my food memory serves me correctly,

has the best crust. 

it's the first crust on a napoletana pie where the middle wasn't soggy
{i was beginning to accept that as a casualty, you know, like separated mustard goo}

it's like pillsbury doughboy all up in that shit,
that's how doughy it is.

the first time i went
-i went two times in a week-
i ordered the margherita
which was like dough-overload.
i was all
where's the rest of the cheese, luigi? 
{yes, the pizza dude's name is luigi and he a-comes from a-italia}

lesson learned,
i returned and got 
with mozzarella
can i have tomaters on that?

much better balance of dough to friends
and luigi yelled at me when i tried to put parmesan on it.
like, what?
 is pesto + parmesan faux pas or something?

it was delicious and i gobbled it up and didn't have any room for dessert but got it anyways
get this:
nutella pizza
same doughboy crust,

sugar overload.
i coulda done without the marshmallows and more nutella.
in life,
there's never enough nutella.

if there's a better napoletana crust out there,
i'm going to find it.
but i think it's going to be pretttty difficult.

till then,
i'll just eat a schnitzel.

...24 mi amores!



zigolinis pizza bar is at 46th and 9th

schnitzel month day 2

you know those times when you just feel like you're a four year old boy?

that's how i feel when i ride the molly mobile to the schnitzel truck!
i ride {zoom zoom!} as fast as i can,
and my head bobs back and forth,
and i sing the schnitzel song!

{the schnitzel song is like the office's "fashion show at lunch,"
except replace "fashion show" with "schnitzel truck"}

today i was unusually hungry.
i think my stomach stretching schnitzburger preparations are working.
so i got:

a chicken schnitzel platter 
with ginger, scallion & garlic relish,
and taters two ways
{fries and salad}

everything was excellent
 {naturally, even though i missed the donut-like ciabatta}

the relish was very refreshing it made a schnitzel as refreshing as a schnitzel can be on a hot day like this.
the fries were just how i like them {stupidly salty. a fry can never be too salty}
and the tatersalad wasn't your typical suburban american barbecue mayonnaise festival. i mean i'm no expert in the kartoffelsalat, but this was more mashed potato-y and yummy!

i abandon kosher and move on to pork 
{and back to the sandwich}



Wednesday, July 14, 2010

schnitzel month day 1

chicken schnitzel sandwich
spicy mayo

holy poopcakes.
i had forgotten how good this is.
the schnitzel from the schnitzel & things truck is some of the best in the city,
and i'm really happy i was reminded of that today because
this month would be lame-o.

i see more sandwiches than platters coming my way in the next few weeks...
i just don't see how i will be able to get over this ciabatta bread!
it's so soft ,
and a little bit sweet.
i see it wanting to be a donut.


i've been pondering what i should eat when i'm not eating my daily schnitzel,
and i think it should be one of two things:

1. nothing
2. vegetables

i think i'm going to need to limit myself on the mayo
because if i'm actually going to try to not let myself go completely:
{fried things + mayo things}x 30 < {fried things + all other condiments}x 30  

then again
if i'm going for tasties:
{fried things + mayo things}x 30 > {fried things + all other condiments}x 30 

when i finished my sammich today,
the only thing i could think about was
what am i getting tomorrow?! 



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