Monday, November 15, 2010

meditations on baloney

before there was schnitzel, there was baloney.
 lunch dates with mum were a baloney sandwich and matzoh ball soup at the deli, my go-to lunchable was the baloney one, and i even once dressed up in a pig costume, put my stuffed cow on a leash, and sang the wiener song in front of the wiener mobile to audition for the oscar meyer commercial. 
it's true: baloney wins hard. it is the teddy bear of comfort food. 
the thing is, it's kind of embarrassing because when somebody makes fun of you for eating all of those animal byproducts ground up and then formed into a perfect cylinder, 
you have no defense because they're absolutely right. 
well, i guess the only defense is YEAH, BUT IT TASTES AWESOME. 
and also,
is anyone else uncomfortable spelling out b-o-l-o-g-n-a and pronouncing "baloney?"
it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. (no offense, bologna-eaters, you are still one of us). 
oh baloney, you have such a hard life.
anyways, on schedule with no-shame november, i stumbled across seersucker in carroll gardens
which has a fried baloney sandwich ON THEIR ADULT MENU.
like, just chillen there, as if it belonged there. 
it was such an emotional experience, seeing my childhood on the little menu hanging in the window.
i wiped my tears, went in, and ordered me one baloney sandwich please and ate it and there was dijon mustards on it! and it was on an english muffin and it was greasy and soft and salty and baloney-y and... oh i'm choking up.
baloney, i love you. you are amazing and beautiful in your own way.
don't worry about organic free-range sustainable vegan chickens taking over the world,
 it is only a matter of time before everyone else realizes that they need not be embarrassed anymore. 
baloney-loving is something to be proud of...right? who is with me? anyone?




Kaitlyn said...

ahhhhh! is it totally weird that I read your post title and was like "ahhhh, molly's talking about me!"? haha. cute post as always. i'm glad you have baloney in your life. may it continue to make you happy. :)

Kirsten Alana said...

absolutely with you! baloney sandwiches were the first sandwiches I ever loved and still to this day I adore them. random fact: putting lays chips on a baloney sandwich w/ mustard is to die for.

Ashley said...

i have never understood why it's spelled bologna!?! why!!!??

It's damn good stuff and i use to eat that everyday when I lived at home with my mom. it's a nice little snack and taste damn good on a piece of wheat, mustard, little mayo. bam!

Gina said...

i want to eat this sandwich!!

& i LOVE matzo ball soup ;)

Rio said...

My baloney has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R... haha! Now I'm going to be singing the Oscar Meyer song all night long! Also, epic drawing! ;)

Jody said...

Don't you think the world would be a better, happier place if everyone ate baloney?

Dancing Branflake said...

I am SOOO three with you! We would have gotten our baloney sammies and eaten them with sheer abandon.

Timothy said...

thats it, Im coming out.

I like boys.

oh, and baloneee!

Jude said...

Oh baloney, you were such a cherished childhood comfort food. (Bologna it's not, that's a place in Italy, ha!) I suddenly want a baloney sandwich with matzoh ball soup!

Maddy said...

I could never do baloney... but I like your drawing :)

bethani said...

ooo yummm yummm yummm!

in texas we fry it up and put cheese on it! pure heaven!!

Red Boots said...

I don't think I ever ate baloney. It's a good name though!!


ps: how's your mustard collection going?!

pps: you should definitely visit Edinburgh - we have some good restaurants!!

la petite coquine said...

I must confess-I've never had a slice of baloney. But you epic love poem to it is making me rethink!

Mo Pie, Please said...

I loved bologna lunchables and sandwiches. My mom always made them for me and they made me happy. But I haven't had baloney for years and years - I stopped eating meat and I don't really miss it. So I'll just live vicariously through you here!

christine, just bella said...

I'm with you, I can't look at the word with out saying "bah-log-na" in my head! Fried baloney is the BEST!! only second to bacon.

Kimbirdy said...

what a heartwarming ode to baloney! (i spelled it that way just for you). :) i used to eat plain baloney sandwiches when i was a kid. yeah, it was pretty awesome.

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