Saturday, June 18, 2011

mosquitoes: 1, molly: 0


dear mosquitoes,
one day, i will throw my clean hands to the wind and smack every one of you. i will run around like a crazy killer woman and none of you will see the light of day ever again. because you are big, fat, pooey buttfaces and everyone hates you and no one will come to your birthday party and no one will ask you to prom. so there!
love and pesticides,
molly
+++++++++++++++++
dear humans,
don't worry. it's not so bad. i have itch cream and, i mean, who needs legs anyways? the mosquitoes didn't completely ruin my day, for today was zip line training day. i went on the zip line over and over and over and over and i learned how not to kill kids when they zip. it was wonderful. the first time up i was reminded of how much of a geezer i'm becoming because it seems i have early symptoms of a fear of heights. i never used to. as i zipped more and more it got easier though. phew
oh, and good news: i found the hard-to-find mister mustard at walmart. go figure. i look all around the big city for this sucker and the second i get to tiny town, u.s.a, there it is staring me in the eye as i jump up and down in silent excitement. you don't want to know what went through my head when i learned that the cafeteria here doesn't have mustard. is that a reason to quit a job? the one place where you have to eat doesn't have mustard
{i'll shut up now}.

-yeh!

p.s. the bánh mì craving is back. wtf.

{photos 2 & 4 are courtesy of kyle sherman}

5 comments:

Jody said...

Can we fed-ex a Bahn Mi?

inHERshoes said...

back in college, a friend of mine who was obviously not asian kept saying, "bang me" (instead of banh mi) and i was like, "wtf is wrong with you?" LOL white boy! haha

Regan said...

Hahaha you are so funny!! Loved this post. :)

@mikeodea said...

mister mustard @ walmart. awesome. please split that bottle w/ me.

Lauren said...

just so you know...best mosquito remedy (I discovered this in hawaii when I got about 60 of them) is preparation H right on the bites. heals 'em up right quick.

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