Tuesday, June 28, 2011

can you take the internet on a date?

or eat spray can cheese with it?
what about hide it in a blanket fort?
it probably wouldn't like banana boating,
or sending letters in the mail. 
ew is that bug spray on the internet? smelly, smelly.

Friday, June 24, 2011

on the road: baltimore

picking up campers
sitting on a new obsession with oranges
which, for the next eight weeks, will be pronounced ahranges
on a mustard hangover
 hearing the queen of spades
 & elvis
not the silly band kind
math problems
a king-sized bed, all to myself. you may call me king ahrange.


a good face for radio

i was on a podcast with the esteemed and illustrious birthday boy bob yoon. we talked about music and food and geezers. check it out  here


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

look how high i am!

your girl is a qualified challenge course instructor.
buddy & steve are two of my most favoritist new friends,
along with the rest of the challenge course boys.
and there i am, all roped up!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

happy father's day

to the pops with the iron stomach,
who loves paella and anything with unlimited toppings,
who knows exactly one knock knock joke,
who used to sport a wicked mustache and a giant asianfro,
who will play the sesame street theme song on his clarinet whenever i want,
and who never 
 gives up.
you rock, pops!!!
-your favorite middle offspring

Saturday, June 18, 2011

mosquitoes: 1, molly: 0

dear mosquitoes,
one day, i will throw my clean hands to the wind and smack every one of you. i will run around like a crazy killer woman and none of you will see the light of day ever again. because you are big, fat, pooey buttfaces and everyone hates you and no one will come to your birthday party and no one will ask you to prom. so there!
love and pesticides,
dear humans,
don't worry. it's not so bad. i have itch cream and, i mean, who needs legs anyways? the mosquitoes didn't completely ruin my day, for today was zip line training day. i went on the zip line over and over and over and over and i learned how not to kill kids when they zip. it was wonderful. the first time up i was reminded of how much of a geezer i'm becoming because it seems i have early symptoms of a fear of heights. i never used to. as i zipped more and more it got easier though. phew
oh, and good news: i found the hard-to-find mister mustard at walmart. go figure. i look all around the big city for this sucker and the second i get to tiny town, u.s.a, there it is staring me in the eye as i jump up and down in silent excitement. you don't want to know what went through my head when i learned that the cafeteria here doesn't have mustard. is that a reason to quit a job? the one place where you have to eat doesn't have mustard
{i'll shut up now}.


p.s. the bánh mì craving is back. wtf.

{photos 2 & 4 are courtesy of kyle sherman}

Friday, June 17, 2011


no longer am i on the road: i am here!
here, where i'll be for the next eight weeks...
climbing on walls, sitting on docks, and engaging in the battle of
molly vs. the mosquitos. 
it's true: i am at summer camp, and it is wonderful.
today i made a clay pot on the wheel, but when i tried to take it off of the wheel, it took on the form of a failed soufflé. whoops!
i try again tomorrow. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

on the road: canada, niagara falls, niagara-on-the-lake, canada, ferris wheel

1 in between zingerman's and new york, we were in canada. it is pretty to drive through canada because a) billboards appear to be not allowed, b) walmart supercenters are walmart supercentres, and c) there are pretty silos like this one!
2 & 3 there she is. i imagine you'd never get lonely in her presence. 
4 check out all those azns! half of me feels so at home.
5 niagara-on-the-lake, canada. it is a cute little town with tea time and an abundance of maple syrup. also: ice wine, immaculate public bathrooms, and very respectable and unique mustard options.
6 & 7 the accommodations. oh! the accommodations: the hillcrest inn. a charming little b & b with a blue door and incredible breakfast.
8 this is what would happen if aliens invaded and the sky turned pink.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

on the road: first stop, zingerman's!

1. zing!!
2. always judge a specialty store by its mustard selection
3. mum + ann arbor's second first greatest attraction: mr. rob knopper, ladies and gentleman!
4. i don't know
5. rob and i are in a pickle
6. possibly even better than our sandwiches, the pretzel and carrot top snackee we got for the road!

mum and i drove a hundred million billion zillion gazillion miles today. we are currently a frisbee throw's distance away from niagara falls! we made it so that zingerman's and rob would be on our way and it was so great. everything is so fresh and everyone is so friendly there. by far the best part is that you can sample anything in the store that you want. even the ibericos and the banyuls and the taza chocolates, like whoa. my favorites were the local strawbees with balsamic and the carrot top hummus. and the magic brownies and the mac & cheese. and the pickles and the pesto and the hot chocolate cake... oh yeah, that is why i feel barfy right now... oh well anyways, this place made me really happy.


Monday, June 13, 2011

this is what heaven looks like

i am working on a piece for the violet's summer issue on mustard.
it is pretty much the best thing ever.
yesterday, i did a tasting of the first batch with mum, marsh, and jc.
 we found some awesome mustards and some insanely awesome mustards. 
don't fux with this.


clinton street pancakes in my jammies

the cookbook section of the public library is my new favorite place.
you can go to shopsin's,
and noma*
without even having to shower or put your face on or wait!
and even better: yesterday i experienced clinton street baking company's
super famous & fluffy pancakes after a heavy night of drinking without the
risk of getting to the front of the line and having to emergency
run home to vom because i was already at home!!
how great is that.
also, seeing the recipe makes you think twice about eating the initial twelve that you'd like to, lest you consume all that butter. so you are killing two birds with one stone by being healthful and in your jammies!


*good friggen luck with that one. but will invite me over when you do?

is that a long-faced mickey mouse pancake, or are you just excited to see me?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

mustard man and ketchup girl

1. the new mister and misses
2. nuggets!
3. stoopie + me, showing off our matching bracelets
4. mum's toe nail polish bet, gone wrong. *mischievous laugh*
5. m & m, h & a, whatever
6. stoopie + jon
7. guess the old point n shoot got drunk as well...

congratulations, heather & al!!!


Saturday, June 11, 2011

2day, so far

waking up to my new favorite smell, filling up the house: tomato bread
homemade butter, homemade curry mustard, the perfect hole-in-the-middle... tell me why we eat out again?
stop being so shy, george.
perfect, gracie, just perfect!
and now... a wedding. of heather & the heir to one of the world's best mustard companies


Friday, June 10, 2011

dear lou malnati's thin crust,

i love you, too.
sorry you're always in the shadows of your chubby brother.


Thursday, June 9, 2011

a closet 95% vegetarian

yep. that's me. although, i suppose i am not so closeted anymore, and the people whom i eat with most knew this already. we'll call it an experiment, a recovery stage from {restaurant challenge}. though i am enjoying eating vegetables more than ever now, and the tastes of dead that i do eat {the safety 5% carnivore left in me} actually taste better now that it's not like ohmygod let me have twelve shackburgers. i see what vegetarians mean now, when their reaction to any person in a dining group saying, oh no we can't go to [insert name of meat centric restaurant here], there are no options for so-and-so, is becoming wide-eyed, wavey hands oh no no it's ok don't mind me i'll find something, i'm sure! but the group still opts not to go to fette sau or hill country or whatevs. it's with good intentions, absolutely, but i think there are a few others who would i identify when i say, choosing to be vegetarian was like choosing the expensive comfortable bra. it's for myself, to make me feel better, not for social implications or to have attention brought to it or to burden others. but of course when you find someone else with the same one you want to talk about it and wear them together. and about why 5% of me is carnivore: make it for me and i'll eat it, invite me to luger's and i'll go, order pig tails at traif and i'll try them. the meathook rapture dog at smorgasburg? that fell under the category of research. also, schnitzel always will be the exception. k, maybe i'm like 8% carnivore. anyways, when the f did this blog take on this tone? let's learn to make
whole wheat barbecue carrot buns! 
for the buns, use this recipe, the one that has been in my fammy forever, but replace two of the cups of flour with whole wheat flour.
heyyyy hot buns!
while the buns are doing their first rising, make the filling using this recipe from dirty candy. i substituted hoisin for the vegetarian oyster sauce and when the only carrot juice at the trader joe's had mangoes in it, i decided to use water. topped em some with cilantro, served em with sriracha {click on the sriracha link it is hilarious}. and they came out amazingly!!!! they are more kosher than their pig equivalent and you can eat seven billion of them without feeling pooey!! they are really ridiculously delicious. in fact, it's lunch time, ima go eat leftovers.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

take me out to the ball game!

take me out to the ball game,
take me out to the crowd...
buy me some whole wheat edamame buns,
i don't care if you care that i'm drinking beer out of a straw!
let me root, root, root for the white sox,
if they don't win that would be pooey...
for it's one, two, three strikes you're out,
at the olddddd balllll gaaaaaaame!!!


p.s. they won!!
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