Friday, October 28, 2011

peanut butter sugar cookies!

{with halloween-y jimmies!}
failure earned a new definition with my attempted dumpling costume. what i was going for was essentially an upside down bed sheet ghost, where my legs would go through the eye holes and everything would meet up at the top and be tied neatly around my neck. more of a shumai than a guotie, if you catch my drift. instead i got a big fat spit ball... and a frowny face.
so i made peanut butter cookies. they're really tasty and easy. here are the clues:
with a mixer, combine 4 tbs softened butter 4 tbs peanut butter 1 c sugar. add 1 large egg + 1 tspn vanilla
in another bowl, combine 2 c flour + 1/2 tspn baking powder + a pinch of salt {if you're using unsalted peanut butter, up the salt}
combine the dry ingredients with the wet ingredients.
divide into two rolls, 1.5 inches in diameter, roll in jimmies!
wrap in cling wrap and freeze while you watch one episode of revenge, or for like 45 minutes.
slice into 3/4 inch discs, and bake at 325, preferably on a pizza stone, for ten-ish minutes.
eat them all immediately!!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

an ode to the fried green tomatoes at sel de mer

it is like a donut got knocked up by a red tomato and then was slaughtered mid-pregnancy for the enjoyment of me and everyone else who makes it past the bedford l stop. i'm actually really embarrassed by this photo because of the lighting and shadows and stuff... i was just so taken by the beauty of the scene that i didn't have time to adjust: it was a quiet sunny sunday morning in williamsburg, i was on my way to see stoop but she was not yet ready to party boozey brunch style, and so, with my favorite tattoo-ed man, we had a sit in the back of the tiny and quaint sel de mer and as an afterthought i convinced him to order the fried green tomatoes. i envisioned the only other fried green tomatoes that i had ever had, the ones at dinosaur bbq circa 2007 with brian flescher, and was immediately and figuratively spanked for doing that. 
these fried green tomatoes were unlike anything my wildest dreams could have imagined. they are the greatest things in the world and if i were on death row not in texas, these would be the appetizer for my last meal. i am actually tempted to remove all mentions of sel de mer in this post so that you won't go there and eat them all up. i want it to by secret. i want all of the fried green tomato donuts for myself and i want to become donut queen so that i can treat this tomato donut as my favorite child. 
people, it is so extremely good.
someone make a tumblr about it.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

two stoops on a stoop

you will not get a real answer if you ask us why we're called stoop. instead you will get a set of guidelines for calling us stoop...long story short, you can't. no offense, it's just that when there are two people that go by the same exact absurd nickname in one room, and anyone besides those two are using that nickname, things get confusing. especially when stoop and stoop have the same voice and weight and seemingly the same age. no, we are not twins, and no, i am not older. stoop is older and sillier and has like one third of the sensor that i do {scary, indeed}. so, anyways, we do this thing where stoop and i go around sitting on stoops to produce photos called two stoops on a stoop. this is one, 
it was taken this weekend in williamsburg on north 6th or something.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

mac and cheese monsters

remember that time when i plum decided to fry up a batch of smokey bacon mac and cheese? and when i brought a new batch to the office like every day and begged people to come by and have a taste? i wasn't being a total fatty, i swear. it was for research purposes! and now the cheeses of my {and your tummy's} labor are here with the fall issue of 
see a history of mac and recipes for:
brie mac + cheese with apples, pancetta, and walnuts
a quick and easy version
indian-spiced mac + cheese with cranberries
fried smokey bacon mac + cheese
the whole magazine is so beautiful, but i am in love with this issue in particular... it is all fall-like and halloweeny. i kind of want to live in violet world. so go check it out. it's all online and free! my article is on page 38, but do check out the whole magazine!

Monday, October 24, 2011


it was one of those stuff-yourself-full-with-every-bit-of-tastiness-and-happiness-that-you-can-manage type of weekend. you know, the kind that involves six types of pie, a ramones onesy, and that cowgirl-themed baby shower you always wanted to go to. and by six types of pie, i mean seven, because stoop got crack pie. i got a bagel bomb and we called it a day. actually no we didn't because then we ate tacos and spaetzle and oysters, too. it was one of those weekends where each thing i ate, i thought it was the best thing i'd ever eaten. but then i ate the next thing, and that only got better. "one of each dessert," he said! always a good idea. {and the best is yet to come...} but it wasn't all food: there were flea markets and silk tops and sunnies as well. beautiful walks, a beer garden, babies, political banter, book presents, and three sets of sisters! why, oh why, must we shed our weekend warrior shields and badges? stoopie and company, come back! 

Friday, October 21, 2011

israeli pita

out of all the pitas, i like it the best.
it is soft and doughy, and if it were the size of a sleeping bag, 
i would prefer it over my down comforter and canopy bed. 
see this article and recipe i wrote here.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


flights are booked,
it's official: 
i'm spending thanksgiving in hong kong!
i simply can't wait. 
to celebrate i made happy buns with my new bamboo steamer.
and then i realized that since i'll be spending every single day for eight days stuffing myself with buns and the like, it probably isn't a good idea to eat a whole lot now. so from now until honk honk i will go bunless and then indulge once i get there.
oy veyzmir i can't contain my excitement.  
if any of you have recommendations for what i should eat and do while i'm there, please let me know. and don't tell me to practice eating seafoodies now, 
mum already did that thrice. 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

i know where the leftover donuts go at night.

they go into the num wah tea parlour's rice roll w/ fried dough.
and then into your mouth. and whether they come out that way or another way... i guess is between you and your stomach juices.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

a little bookstore tour

i went on a little bookstore tour this weekend. it made me not feel sad about my barnes & noble turning into a century 21, and it helped me to articulate this weird relationship that i have with bookstores. because i don't really like books. or, 99% of them. very occasionally i fall in love with a book and the world stops until i finish it. but that is very very occasionally, and it isn't until i've bought a book and have given it a good try that i realize that i don't want it. i wish it wasn't that way. but reading is really very difficult for me. i once threw a tantrum about having to read 30 pages of bridge to terabithia in one night while i was in fifth grade {i was in the car with mum, we were driving in front of carillon square}. i have this fantasy of carrying around a david foster wallace book and reading it in front of people and having people think that i must be cool. because that is what i think about people who read david foster wallace. perhaps i'll just give my moleskine a lobster considering book jacket or something ruther. i don't think i ever opened a book in college. i learned and i enjoyed my classes, usually, but reading wasn't ever my choice learning method. and, like i said, i wish this wasn't the case. because i love bookstores. i like the pretty book covers and the titles that are so intriguing and pleasing to say. the picture of dorian gray, the night circus, the immortal life of henrietta lacks. like, what the fuck, i get so much pleasure out of just the titles. and then i open one and i am immediately flustered because why should i be only reading that book when i am surrounded by thousands of others. the books i choose have to be in first person, they can't have stupid complicated words on the first page, the author can't seem pretentious, and they certainly cannot have a picture on the cover of nasty arms and hands, à la that tiny fey book.  i'm a judger of the cover. and the way i judge a good book store is by its moleskine selection. but, godddd i want to know shit so bad. can someone tell me what happens in on the road, and all of those charles dickens things? 
i found one book this weekend that i would like to read. eating animals by jonathan safran foer. i read the first few pages at book culture {not the one on broadway, the one off broadway} and decided that it reminded me of ruth reichl. ruth reichl is the only author who has written multiple books that i've read {besides jerry spinelli}. and in my limited knowledge of authors, i respect her writing more than anyone else's. the opening few pages of eating animals reminded me of tender at the bone. i like the name jonathan safran foer, it is a good name. and i like the name eating animals. i have an idea of what it is about, and i don't know how i feel about it. but usually what a book is about doesn't matter, i just care about how it's written. but so i went upstairs in book culture, where the used books are, and they didn't have it. i decided it was a sign and bought two moleskines instead. maybe someone will lend me their eating animal. but that would be a problem because then if i finish it i would want to keep it. like a trophy. whatever, anyways,
the other bookstores on my tour were:
the bookstore at chelsea market. it left a good impression with me because they have a nice selection of high quality wrapping papers, including one with pictures of donuts.
printed matter, in chelsea. everything had penises or butts on it, and appeared to have been written for the person who wrote it. which is fine. but not something i want to read, and not something i totally understand, and not something i am going to take the time to understand today. maybe another day. 
those book stands on the streets. i was looking for eating animals but they didn't gots it. 


Sunday, October 16, 2011

happy birthday, mum!

dear mum:
even though my recent influx of grey hairs is all thanks to you,
i still love you...
because yesterday you suggested that i should be rosemary for halloween,
and then said that i shouldn't because it might look too much like marijuana...
and also because when i tell you that we are going to pick out each other's toe nail colors and i choose neon orange, you are nice and choose a pretty pink.
oh. what jingles on my desk?
a telephone text: hey! it's my birfday! you say. hehe.
it appears i got my impatience from you, too!
i suppose, though, i am quite alright with turning into you...
because you are silly and happy and love what you do,
and because you make the baddest boozey brownies on the planet.
happy birthday, mama!!!!! 
i love you!!!

Thursday, October 13, 2011


{schnitzel, last year}
halloween is but 18 days away, and i haven't got a clue what i'm going to be. verklempt is an understatement. it's time to get serious. here are options i'm considering {tell me if they're stupid or not}:
zenon, girl of the twenty first century i sort of just got rid of magenta spandex though. damn.
girl with the pearl earring 
stoop i've acquired enough of her clothings for it to be easy peasy. but probably no one would get it.
bill cunningham i mean i have the bike, camera, and blue jacket. but getting the bike into buildings might be a hassle.
a teddybear 
a turtle
a doofusbrain
violet beauregarde?
this is tough. good costumes in my life usually reflect something that i obsess over. schnitzel. a xylophone mallet. what do i obsess over now that i haven't yet dressed up as? my bike, satyagraha, the internet, caramel. i like aliens. how about that? mustard. maybe. it would have to be, like, cilantro absinthe manhattan rooftop honey mustard or something like that because being yellow mustard is about as common as being a power ranger when you're six. 
i wonder if mason jars come in adult human size. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

sad popcorn ballz

it was noted yesterday that i had been lacking in my unofficial position as office candy bowl filler upper. maybe if people would just pay me the suggested cost of one limerick per piece, this problem wouldn't be happening. but i am nary a hunter. 
and so i made the seasonal and informed decision to make:
popcorn balls!!!
only somewhere along the way, about 75% of my poppy corn got all burnt. and by the time i realized i'd have to discard it, the candy thermometer had reached 230 degrees and mr. needle wasn't stoppin. so quickly i scanned my kitchen to see what i could candy. candied ramen noodles? candied licorice? candied spatula? eureka {!!!}: candied peanuts!
they'd be like the nuts for nuts nuts!
so i dumped them in, along with the salvaged, unburnt popcorn, and voila!
a stick sweet peanut brittle dental hygienic nightmare.

{thank you to paula deen's popcorn ball recipe}

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

spotted dick pudding.

it's #thingsyoucan'tnotbuyatagrocerystore
it is cake in a can,
it is called dick,
and there are bubble letters on it!
how do you see that at the fairway without giggling a little bit and tossing one into your basket??
there is some great commentary about it here {where the name becomes spotted richard}
and here {where the decision to change the name is deemed ludicrous and so it is changed back to dick}
but so yesterday for breakfast i boiled {!!} the can to cook its contents, opened the can, dumped out the little cake, and ate approximately 1/5 of it.
and it was totally delicious. moist and sweet... just like a honey cake. it is supposed to have a custard-y accompaniment, but i thought it was delicious on its lonesome. 
i hadn't known what to expect, since my pudding knowledge until yesterday was swiss miss and rice to riches. but now i feel all couth now, having experienced the british pudding.
 this is making me miss my british counselor friends...

Saturday, October 8, 2011


i have a favourite bar snack and it is the
cheese + onions + crackers {with mustard} 
at mcsorley's. there is something refreshing about onions when you're drinking dark beer, and *ohmygah* that mustard is by far the strongest mustard i have ever had. ever. ten times the hotness of amora, i'm serious. 
when i was 12 and experienced new york for the first time, with my dad, we stumbled upon mcsorley's. "oh hey, this is the place where all of my friends went after concerts... but i wasn't old enough so i was left out," he said, as he dragged me in to see the saw dust on the floor and old pictures on the wall.
and then last night after my cheese and crackers i thought: what if timedimension didn't exist? what if a 12-year-old me came teetering out of mcsorley's into that sunny october day to find present-day me standing on the curb and laughing with rob? would i say hi to the 22-year-old me, who by this time, having gone back to unwaxed eyebrows, minimal facepaint, and the same ponytail that i was wearing on that day ten years ago, would be absolutely unmistakeable? would the fact that 22-year-old me was in new york confuse me? why wasn't i in evanston or boston? why on earth does my bag say juilliard?
do you have any tattoos? she'd maybe say.
no, i'd answer.
is stoop married yet?
why does your breath smell like that?
i--you--eat onions now.
what else do you eat now?
oh right, still no bananas or mushrooms.
what about spinach?
love it. 
*guffawwww* what is your job?
you'll find out.
do you ever go on a date with--
GO. you're about to experience zabar's for the first time. you'll love it.
bye, geezer
bye, doofus head.

Friday, October 7, 2011

hello and goodbye

i don't really have much to say today. which is probably a reflection of my monotonous eating habits this week {bagel in the morning, soom soom pita pocket in the evening, let's call it a day?} please go read meg's post because it is wonderful.
and have a glorious, yummy weekend!!

Thursday, October 6, 2011


and so i went there... to see what it was like, to learn more about what was going on, to grapple with my opinions on the matter. my experience included a vuvuzela, a man exposing handfuls of marijuana before me, and lots of "mic checks." the place reminded me of one of those roofless lego floor plans that i used to make. there was a library, a sleeping area, a painting place, a media center... and my favorite: a kitchen! in the back of the kitchen, there was a sign telling people with cameras that they are all bourgeois and lazy or something. so i went around to the front of the kitchen because i mean i like looking at food, you know. and you can tell a lot about a situation by observing what people eat during it. but in clutching my camera by my side and standing a few feet away to observe the buffet options, i felt a hurty poke in my side and heard, "i'm too hungry to wait behind some phoootooooo journalist." and then the boy pushed me aside and went up to the table to shovel handfuls of reese's peanut butter cups onto his paper plate. i got frowny. especially because half of the people there had a camera, and it's people with cameras that are helping to spread the word, no? i mean. ok. i wanted a picture of the food. which might seem dumb to people. but. i thought everyone was supposed to be nice down there? anyways, my expectations were that by experiencing this occupation and hearing what people there had to say, i would learn something that i couldn't on the twitters or the internet. but it turns out my opinions are as amorphous as the movement is. and that's all i'll say for now... 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

cue the huey lewis

on friday i put on spandex pants and frye boots, got out the old d&g light blue, and smeared on that makeup that comes in bright sets of like a hundred colors. then jaclyn picked me up, and we went to the high school football game. 
hi, nostalgialand.
i clapped to the fight song, 
discussed the world with my old teachers, 
visited steak and shake afterwards...
 {usual: small fries more salt honey mustard 
kiddie shake i don't want my cherry} 
there might as well have been a delorean waiting in the lot to give me a lift home. the only difference this time around was that the football team was actually winning.
{oh, and i wasn't in a band uniform... but you didn't hear that from me...}
you'd have thought it was cool for a 22-year-old to be surrounded by high schoolers on a friday night.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

monster attack

i am back in new york,
with a very stuffed belly!
 i had such a wonderful time at home...
cooking with mum,
eating dim sum with sisters,
running in the fall weather,
and meeting my niecedog, audrey!
give me an airplane and i'll take all of my weekends like this one.

Monday, October 3, 2011

the sweetest new year ever.

in a massive effort to ensure an insanely sweet new year,
and to go beyond the old apples & honey...
mum and i spent hours in the kitchen this weekend cranking out:
crystallized ginger
pretzel caramels
apple donuts 
a million kinds of jelly
apple donuts stuffed with jelly {namely, jalapeno jelly}
honey cake
sweet corn ice cream
cotton candy
...and so much more.
i think the guests at our rosh hashanah fest thought we'd lost our minds.
but having a pretty table full of homemade candies 
and other noshies is oh-so-very satisfying. 
see before i came home, i told mum that we wouldn't be eating anything during the weekend that we didn't make from scratch. and we almost stuck to it.
friday pizza night doesn't count. especially in chicago. 
below are recipes and links that we used...
of course we still had apples & honey. but they were freshly picked fuji and honey crisp apples. and freshly whipped creamed honey
caramels {+ crunched up pretzels on top}
pumpkin ice cream {half of the sweet corn base, minus the corn + 1/2 a can of pumpkin + cloves + cinnamon + ginger + nutmeg}
apple donuts {we substituted apple butter for the cider and topped them with creamed honey}
ricotta {+ rosemary, thyme, and basil from the garden}
jalapeno jelly* {vinegar + jalapenos + sugar + pectin}
ginger jelly* {juice from the crystallized ginger + sugar + lemon + pectin}
hotberry jam* {strawbees + bluebees + raspbees + jalapeno + lemon + sugar + rosemary + water}
apple butter* {apples + autumny spices + pectin + water}
maple mustard* {mustard powder + white wine vinegar + sugar + maple extract + turmeric}
*i winged it with these things. just play around with those ingredients in a saucepan until it tastes good.
mum was in charge of the honey apple cake, the pumpkin challah, and the pickles... and i think they came out of real live cookbooks... so we're all out of luck on those ones.

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